I have always had trouble making friends. I was an awkward kid who didn't ever have the greatest social skills. I only keep in touch with a handful of people from high school or college. I am horrible at initiating phone calls or e-mail, but I am quick to respond if someone contacts me. I just don't ever seem to get it right, and I still find it hard to find my footing in friend relationships. I never want to seem over-eager, but often say too much. I never know when to call someone to just chat because I don't want to intrude. Those kinds of things just do not come naturally to me, and it seems to get worse the older I get.
Thankfully I have some very kind people in my life who are patient with my bumbling attempts and lengthy lapses.
I have people in my life who will spend hours chatting with me when we are both available, who will rearrange their schedules to give me a ride, and show me everytime we are together that I am not always as off as I feel.
I have people in my life who share common interests with me, who help me with projects, and are ready to jump in on some of my adventures. Some of these folks even go out of their way to introduce me to other people who share some of those interests and want some of the same adventures.
I have people who care for me and mine, who step up when I need help, and teach me how to be a friend by simply being MY FRIEND.
I cannot go back and undo some of the major blunders that I have made, but I can pay attention to the people in my life now, and learn what they have to teach. I can be thankful that I have people in my life who are more than acquaintances, who know me for who I am and love me anyway.
3 comments:
Beautiful. I completely relate to this. Truly.
I found this post very interesting! Isn't it funny how different we perceive ourselves compared to how others see us. I have always thought you were so self assured and confident. It was great when I got to know you as we talked in the copy room at school. You were so willing to share your ideas with me and talk to me (which wasn't always normal at other schools between gen ed and special ed teachers). I was really excited when you invited my class to join your class to hear a speaker. Now I really enjoy working in the garden with you and I'm so glad we are still friends even though we aren't teaching any more. I consider myself lucky to have you as a friend!
Not as elegant as the comment I left on this earlier, but since it's gone, I'll say that I completely relate to this. It's hard that sometimes, even at my age, life still feels like high school.
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